Bipolarsafe Journal

 Accidentally took my evening Clozapine medication in the morning instead of at night time. Felt very bad - drowsy and severely tired but with restless legs. Luckily I managed to sleep it off eventually. What made matters worse was I had just taken my first Depakote dose. Idiot! 

Did you know bipolar episodes can be caused by insomnia and a lack of sleep? Hangovers also can cause depression. It's best to avoid alcohol all together or  drink in moderation. 

Having a struggle with a diet, have a look at my recent blog post. Remember it's not your fault!

Sorry I haven't updated my site recently. 

Saw my psychiatrist the other day and it's official - I'm coming off lithium. It will take about one month. I may be put on new meds if I don't respond well to the reduction. So far, no withdrawal side effects.. 

I had a strum on my guitar the other week.  I made some great songs with a friend but he got ill and I never saw him again. Real shame. I once played guitar at a friend's wedding which went ok, but the smoke machine malfunctioned and everyone started talking..

I haven't seen my friends for at least six or seven years because I have been in psychiatric hospital and supported living. I can't wait to see them. I am more confident that I can see them if they come to stay at my place. Hopefully panic attack free.. I'll be sensible, no drinking!

My support workers are so brilliant and help me a lot. They spend a long time on the bus just to get to me. They never complain. They help me tremendously if I have a panic attack because I need people to talk me down from it. Currently watching the Traitors with them which they like! 

I have put on weight due to my medication, I'm now on statins for my cholesterol, I have kidney problems, I have an underactive thyroid and gallstones, ulnar nerve damage due to an assault and a broken arm. I was thinking what other part of me is going to break? 

It could be worse I suppose, it's not as bad as having something like cancer but my life will never be bipolar free. I'm used to being in crisis quite often with my panic attacks.

The world is becoming an uncertain place..

There is a slight problem with my kidneys due to the use of lithium for a substantial amount of time. It needs replacing. I imagine I will be put on an anticonvulsant such as Lamotrigine, Carbamazepine or Valproate Acid. I'm sightly worried because I wonder if my mental health will deteriorate as I have been on Lithium for such a long time. Wish me luck!

I used to pace the floor when I first encountered depression. I was actually physically sick when I first became unwell. My flat mates said they could hear me pacing the floor in a circle in my room. It just got worse and worse. I was treated with an anti-depressant called Paroxetine (Seroxat) and an anti-psychotic called Chlorpromazine (Largactil). The Chlorpromazine made my tongue stick out of my mouth as a side effect. The Paroxetine made me possibly the most manic person who has ever existed!

Bob Dylan -  Fragments (The time Out of Mind Sessions from 1996-1997).  A truly revolutionary album. It features brilliant songs in different styles and arrangements. The best - Standing in the Doorway, Not Dark Yet and  Make You Feel My Love (covered recently by Adele). Check it out, I got really addicted to it. It is just as good if not better than his earlier works.. https://youtu.be/gVRgdj85d4w?si=kH2j85P4-3MwXN-7 (Make You Feel My Love)

How to make perfect iced coffee - treat yourself.. Truly delicious. Will brighten your day

The Australian Open tennis is on tv in a couple of days. You could give it a go if you wanted to. Sport can be relaxing if you're feeling depressed. It's on Eurosport if you have Sky or it will be live on Discovery Plus. Enjoy..

When I had psychotic mania and was in hospital I used to think I was saving Africa by providing water to every family and also I banished diseases such as malaria. I was so ill...

Getting nearer to being able to go on the bus to go to my parents house by myself.  I've had to rely a lot on my parents to take me to appointments etc for the last few years. Good for my independence too.  

I bought myself a L'or coffee maker the other day. It's fantastic - I am learning how to make the perfect ice coffee with syrups such as caramel, hazelnut and honeycomb. A treat to have once a day. It also brightens up my day.. I am becoming a barista!

A high percentage of bipolar sufferers also suffer from an anxiety disorder as well.  Panic disorder is the most common anxiety condition among individuals with bipolar disorder. There are several other types of anxiety linked to bipolar disorder, though, including social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and agoraphobia. I suffered from social anxiety disorder.

A new drug for schizophrenia called Cobenfy could potentially change the lives of people with the disorder. The FDA has approved its use in the USA. Whether it can benefit people with bipolar or schizoaffective disorder remains to be seen. Exciting times..

Really looking forward to going to my gardening day centre tomorrow although I'm not looking forward to the weather! You could join Restore, Mind or other projects to help with your mental health. They can be truly life changing..

Be careful if your doctor puts you on an anti-depressant, they are the leading cause of mania. These days you're better off taking an anti-psychotic such as Quetiapine or Lurasidone to tackle depression and to make you more stable. If, however, you are terribly depressed then an anti-depressant could be considered but only for a couple of months before tapering it off. This should stop any mania from occurring.  I was on Paroxetine (Seroxat) for 6 months before tapering it off and it made me go sky high.  

I was 21 when I 'unlocked' bipolar disorder. It usually happens in early adulthood in response to a stressful life event. That is not to say that I was devoid of symptoms during my childhood. I suffered from stress, insomnia, social anxiety disorder and depression (except only when at school) with friends I didn't particularly get on well with. I'm on the mend now. I feel the most stable I've been for quite some time. You can beat bipolar disorder.

Had a big panic attack in town today, I desperately wanted to get back home quickly. Played a driving game on my XBOX to distract me when home. I'm ok now...that panic sensation, anxiety and heavy breathing will never fail to scare me. 

Discovered I may have quite a few website visitors a month. I'm very happy. It's good to learn that I'm helping people with bipolar / schizoaffective disorder..

Wishing everyone who has visited my site a very happy new year. I hope you will be free from bipolar for good. I hope my website helps in some way..

I have been reading  An Unquiet Mind from K. R. Jamison. It's very well written. She has been through a lot,  suffering from bipolar even though she was a doctor herself..

I have just updated my Bipolarsafe website for the first time in a while. This journal is kind of like a blog within a blog. I created a blog called 'AriseMorningSun.com' but it didn't work out. Eventually it crashed and my service provider was unable to help me. I'm pleased the way Bipolarsafe is going now. Great to be back!

I now have 1600 followers on X.com - feel free to check it out below @bipolarsafe

I'm on the mend, I am having panic attacks far less powerful than usual and much less frequent. Things are looking better for me..